2nd Chances: Pastoral Reflections

Cedar Rapids: Moving On 8.14.08

"And the God of all grace, who called you into his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."
1 Peter 5:10

My deployment is about over.  I leave on Friday at 12pm, released after debriefing, evaluations and lunch together as an Emotional And Spiritual Care Team.  It's been good to be here, it'll be good to go home.

The image of a FEMA trailer is forever engraved into my life's experience.  I can spot one a block away. I know what they are like inside, how in some the sink is on the end of the counter, next to the stove.  This leaves no place to put the dishes. Others have no closets, but still a layout that affords enough room for small family. I know how they are built and tied down, how the expertly the decks are assembled and that they come in different shapes and sizes. (But not different colors-they are all white.) 

I have had the pleasure of meeting over 100 people who live in them and have heardnumerous life changing stories of suffering, survival and hope.

We identified three main group of folks while we were here.   While no one fits perfectly into any box,  this gives a sense of what we found.

One group are people are those who had a home or business in the affected area, may or may not have lost their belongings and are displaced.  This group has at least one good job in the family and equity that can be recovered.  As devastating as all this is and continues to be, they had social, emotional and financial stability in life before the flood and can pull together resources to get back on their feet.  With time, emotional and spiritual support, they will recover. Many are well on their way and are able to share their blessings to help others.

A second group we came across were the day to day survivors.  People who had for years on end found ways of making the rent, paying the bills and putting a roof over their heads.  They know how to find a job, a place to stay and while life is by no means easy they actually have access to the network they need for help.  They know the system of resources available, and will stand in lines and do what's necessary to weather this storm too.  Lots of things made daily life a struggle before the flood and all that stuff is still there now.  Disconnected from their resources, one substantial need is to get support back in place. Help is usually welcomed, and they can get by pretty well as long as they don't look to far down the road.

The third group is in between these two.  Maybe they had a decent job, but the factory or shop where they worked was flooded out.  They had made it into a house after years of trying, but the bank really owns it and the FEMA check cannot be cashed. Their family was together through some difficult times, and this blow is back breaking, bringing old demons to the surface.  Having lived one paycheck away from a food line for a while, now desperately seeking relief efforts, they are wishing all this help could go to someone more in need. But today, they are the ones who need it most.

Our job has been to walk along side people, where ever they are in life.  It doesn't matter if someone lost everything or came out pretty much ok.  Everyone is affected by this in their own way.  It's not the flood that is the crisis at hand any longer, but their reaction to it and what it has done to reorder their lives.Some of the parents simply hurt for the losses their kids are facing, some adult children wish their mom and dad hadn't lost the home they thought they'd live in until they died.  Just driving through the flood zone makes an imprint on us all...I can't imagine what it's like to have been there day after day, to see your home mucked out and reduced to a frame and a roof.

But God brings us hope when there seems to be no hope.  FEMA trailers are a good thing for most.  Safety and security in place, some of life's other problems can begun to be dealt with.  Reflecting on how much help is available causes many to recount their blessings.  Maybe, just maybe, this is getting better.  Then comes the realization that God did not cause this suffering, but instead endures with us in the midst of it all.  Acknowledging then, that the cries for help have been heard, the plea for saving answered.  And in these amazing moments the God of peace shows himself in glory among us, shining as a light in a dark place and leading people out of suffering. 

Its time for me to go home and leave Cedar Rapids in God's hands.  We have identified 60 families for follow up, after visiting more than 100. There is much more work to be done, and tomorrow it gets passed on to the next ones called to serve.   
Each in our own way, we're moving on.

Cedar Rapids: Gifts 8.12.08

Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.
Proverbs 14:10 
We made 19 contacts today.  The trailers aren't in stand alone lots anymore, they are in and amongst a community, which is good.  The stereotype of 'FEMA trailer'  is less...the identity of 'flood victim' is less and there are people around to provide support for their new neighbors.  Going down each street and noting each address- we met, talked to, counseled and sometimes prayed with a total of 19 people. Giving out bags of goodies, boxes of food, recovery information and spiritual materials, we found about 150 FEMA trailers. Most are still empty but more and more being filled.  School is starting soon and the kids are coming home.  People are trying to get settled. It's hard.

Kathleen and I worked together again today.  She is also a Chicago volunteer with Salvation Army, happens to be Catholic and usually works on the canteens but has received special training to qualify her as an Emotional and Spiritual Care Provider.  We make a good team.

Many of the people are doing well, but every once in a while we'd find someone that really needed a hand - and right now.  One woman, 59, had just arrived and was signing papers at her kitchen table with the FEMA guy.  She was now able to occupy her new trailer with her three grandchildren (9 months, 19 months and 11).  Her daughter was at work.  They had been living in a Motel 6 for six weeks.  They will not be able to go back into their home.  Interestingly, they all had a different reaction to this new environment. The babies raced happily and gleefully from end to end of the trailer while we visited.  They were enthralled with the space and freedom after being confined for so long.  The 11 year old was taking it all in quietly, a little disappointed that her new twin size Hanna Montana sheets won't fit on the full size bed in her new room.  Looking forward to middle school, she is going to continue playing the clarinet. The grandmother says they'll only be there a couple months...she wants to go home...or closer to home, as she is now located 25 minutes from everyone she knew and everything she had.

If that wasn't enough, unexpected things happen when you have three kids in the house.  The only food there was that which we brought them, a couple of boxes full.  The 19 month old had a 'booggy nose' and needed a tissue - now.  Toilet paper from the food box would suffice.  During our visit the one of the little one's locked everyone out of the bathroom, then the 6 inch floor drain cover opened up, with help from the 9 month old, and we had to fetch a neighbor to screw it back down.  The toddler really needed a diaper change so I ran to Walmart to satisfy that immediate need while Kathleen tried to fix the floor and the door.  Quite honestly it felt good to be able to actually do something. When it all settled down Kathleen talked to grandma and I talked to the 11 year old and we listened to their stories and offered consolation and prayer.   They had been on a roller coaster in life before all this...and in these moments it was all just too much. And even as they told us what it was like for them, we could never really understand.  We could only be there to listen.  The memories and suffering were theirs alone, and so will be their joy when it comes.

19 contacts, 19 stories, 19 experiences, 19 gifts.  Each person's experience is unique.  No, more than that - sacred.  Sacred in the sense that God is fully with them, as we go out we ask His presence in all our interactions.  We need to be the feet and hands of the One who sent us, so we'd better know that it's only by God's leading that any of this gets done.  We ask about needs, assess their situation through observing and provide what we can.   Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the enormity of the task and at other times it feels like I really don't do much at all. The best thing to do is often just listen quietly and be fully present, giving that time completely away and letting God be truly present with you.  What little we can give seems insignificant in comparison to the needs, but it's still important enough to travel 250 miles for 11 days to provide.   Why? Because God uses these moments to mold our hearts and heal our spirits, bringing us closer to him. 

As a team we volunteers share devotions each morning before we go out and daily ask for the words to speak and the paths to take to find the people God needs us to serve. And as it is with most of the work I have the opportunity to do, I receive back much more than I give.

Cedar Rapids: Just under the surface 8.9.08

My people are destroyed!  Tears flood my eyes,
and they won't stop until the LORD looks down from heaven and helps.
Lamentations 2:48-50

When I was a kid my Sunday school teacher gave out little prizes for good behavior.  One of my favorites were these small black papers that could be scratched with a stick or coin and a rainbow of colors would appear. You couldn't see the colors until you scratched the black surface, but it didn't take much to get them to show through. We would draw crosses and fish mostly, as we were at church. What you could create was amazing and each one unique.

Working here in Cedar Rapids is a lot like that.  Some of the people have so much trauma and pain, frustration and hurt just beneath the surface. Most are really coping well, they have a plan and are working through their grief in extraordinary ways.  For others it's harder. The questions of why and how come in waves.  In one moment you are able to laugh and in the next only tears can be shed.

Who are these people?  They are like you and me.  A 60 year old couple who lost everything they ever worked for, every artifact destroyed. A single mother with 5 kids who finally got a loan and owned a house with the bank...and a FEMA check received, but held by the bank, and mortgage payments are still due.  A man on chemo, in rehab during the flood and now homeless as he had no permanent address to file for relief. A successful doctor who lost an entire practice and all his equipment, and is paralyzed by the reality that so near retirement he has to start all over.  A young passionate teacher with survivor guilt over an exciting job opportunity, a clean trailer and a brand new start while so many others have nothing.  Most people want to talk. Our job is to listen. And so we will ask, "What is this like for you? Tell me about it. I'd like to hear your story."
And once you scratch the surface, the stories start to flow.

Poor people and rich people, older people and young people, famous people and people no one knows; all hurting, all healing, all wanting this to be over, or at least regain some control so they can move on.  And one of the things that they need most is someone to listen, to know they are not alone.  Someone to care, someone to lead them toward hope, pray with them and help them cry out to God as they know him. Our purpose here is to serve those who are in need of emotional and spiritual care, to provide a cathartic opportunity for flood victims and the community, staff and others we meet. In care and prayer perhaps they can let go of some pain, express their needs honestly, and  go forward in the direction of hope with new resources and support.

Recovery is about healing, growth and renewal.  In scratching the surface something new begins to show, and it is a miracle each time I see it.  Even in the midst of suffering, hope becomes real. The colors of their newly created experience is sacred, and each of these people, God's people, are amazing and unique.  Please keep them in your prayers.

 

 

Cedar Rapids: Volunteers 8.7.08

We plan the way we want to live,
   but only God makes us able to live it. Proverbs 16:9

The peanut butter fudge brownies were from Minnesota.  A local youth group was serving (and sorting) as a missions trip...several more came and went throughout the day.  They must have unloaded three or four box trucks packed with hundreds of boxes...full of clothes, furniture, diapers and supplies from churches across several states.  They were being sorted by gender, size and season so they were ready to give away.  The warehouse (and our command center) is an old grocery store...a big one.  Now emptied of food, its filled with supplies for flood victims.  As a FEMA distribution site, they have serviced thousands of people in the last month and a half.  Yesterday it was completely empty, today it was filled again.  Walmart is bringing 6 semis of new goods up in a few days, all the way from Tennessee. It'll be a whole a variety of stuff.  At least one semi is going to be filled with bottled water.  Several pallets of box fans arrived this afternoon.  Next week the warehouse will open to the public again (all those with FEMA numbers).   the goods collected will all be given away. 

A slim staff of about three run the show...and volunteers come from all over.  Amazing operation.  Beth (84) has worked  as a volunteer every day (note EVERY) since the flood.  She handles the phone and the referrals.  This lady is amazing. We went to dinner and I listened to her stories for a few hours.

Tomorrow I go with my new partner into two of the seven mobile home communities we surveyed today.  We are going to visit new residents in the FEMA trailers.  Many of them are still empty, but people are showing up every day.  We met two families this morning and noted locations to hit tomorrow and packed a van full of food and referrals.

Recovery is a long process.   

Another full time volunteer said tomorrow is last day of canteen operations in Palo, a community completely set underwater by the flooding.  Just this past few days they served 2000 meals to residents, clean up crews and personnel.  He thinks they'll reopen later.  And it's complicated for people. Some neighborhoods have numerous homes with no utilities reconnected  yet.  The ins and outs of insurance and FEMA designations are mind boggling. Some of the needs are so complex I wonder how I could pull it off if it were me.  Others are so basic...like the need for paper towels and toilet paper, supplied in the temporary lodging of a hotel or campground but not available at the food pantry.  One lady who recently moved into the trailer was so happy she was given an alarm clock and household cleaning products, like dish soap.  They had retrieved little from their flooded home, as most of their belongings were lost.  In their 60's - they were starting all over.

There are layers and layers to these people's situations.  Each one is unique. People here are proud,  resourceful, hardworking and for the most part self sufficient. Presenting problems are not easily solved, but a flood of volunteer power helps.  Each person's gift of time, effort, empathy and a smile makes this mix of strangers a community. It's a real pleasure to be here among them and it's an honor to serve.

Cedar Rapids: Arrived 8.6.08

About 5pm today I arrived in Cedar Rapids for an 11 day deployment from the Hanover Park Fire Department to provide Emotional and Spiritual Care to flood victims through the Salvation Army.  I met the Officers In Charge, John and Marilyn Welcome (yes, that's their real name) and we went for a snack at Dairy Queen after checking me in at the Holiday Inn Express.  I'm feeling fed and rested and looking forward to serving tomorrow.  Some people are coming that I know and others that I had hoped to meet.

The city looks ok at first glance..but as you look closer you can see that in some places water is still high. There was a retention area (I think) where the water came almost up to some railroad tracks on an embankment.  They have really taken a beating this summer from the floods. 

I had done some research on www.corridorrecovery.org before I came and I learned about how FEMA has houses affected by the flood tagged with different colors to designate the conditions for re-entry and renovation, or their pending destruction.

As I came into town, after a couple hundred miles of corn and farm fields, I saw the colored placards.  Green is good...you can live there.  Yellow means you need a permit and contractors to do the work.  Red means you may not enter without a structural engineer with you. You could see them from the highway...the bright colors.  These stickers aren't just a mark, but more than that...an identity and a story.  Each one of those tags represents an experience never to be forgotten, a family trying to hold it together, lost treasures of life such as a wall full of children's photos from each year in school...a multitude of losses.  Seeing green tags on houses that looked so beat up was still enough to bring on a smile after seeing house after house with red or purple placards on the door or wall, meaning that home was going to be demolished.

Tomorrow we will have orientation at 0800 and then go to the trailer parks where the FEMA trailers have been placed and other affected neighborhoods.  We'll bring food and personal care and cleaning kits to give away.  House by house, we'll check on people, listen to their stories and hopefully hook them up with services that they need.  Some problems people need help with probably existed long before the flood.  The flood is just one disaster...most of us hold cards for a lifetime of them.

I've been told that while almost 500 FEMA trailers are physically in place many are still empty.  And in some cases people were living in them, and after a month were told to relocate back to campgrounds and hotels or where ever they could due to mold present in the trailers.   There will be a lot to listen to.

From http://corridorrecovery.org/stats.asp

18,623 estimated persons in impacted flood area
10 square miles (14%) of the city affected by the flood waters 
7,198 affected parcels:

              5,390 residential
              1,049 commercial
              84 industrial
              51 agricultural
              486 non-profit organizations
              138 other      

Damage Assesment Figures:

• Purple:     47
• Red:        457
• Yellow:    4,340
• Green:     1,636